Coping With Herpes Diagnosis Depression, Dating, Relationships & Myths Dispelled

A herpes diagnosis can send even the most well balanced individual into an emotional tailspin of depression. It is an incurable disease and although it isn’t deadly, and considered a mere annoyance to the medical community – carries a taboo throughout all of society. Chances are you feel incredibly lonely, isolated, dirty – and angry. If you are single, you’re also concerned about your chances of having a healthy and fulfilling love life as well. Depression is a very natural reaction to have when you suffer from the herpes virus – but now is the time to educate yourself and learn what it is that you can do to overcome these feelings and live a normal life.

Top Herpes Myths Dispelled:

1. I can’t have children: This is absolutely 100% FALSE. The herpes simplex virus will not prevent you from having children, nor can you pass on the disease to your children in utero or during the conception process. HSV type 1 (oral) and type 2 (genital) are contracted via skin to skin contact. This is why many in the medical community consider the virus to be more of a dermatological disease, even though it is often passed through sexual contact. You will contract herpes through seminal fluid, vaginal fluid or blood. If you are a man, you can still reproduce – and if you are a woman, you can still conceive. It is important that your doctor knows your status ahead of time because most often, a woman with genital herpes will be given a Cesarean section (c-section) instead of having a vaginal birth to reduce the chances of the child coming into contact with the virus in the vaginal canal.

2. I can’t donate blood: FALSE! The inability to donate blood is another common misconception associated with the herpes virus. Let me state once again – the herpes simplex virus is not a blood-based virus. When you contract herpes, oral or genital, it “lives” within the nervous system of the body. If you have oral – it generally rests in the base of the neck, when you have genital – it rests in the base of your spine. When dormant, it just kind of lays there – harmless, but when active – it travels via the nervous system to it’s outbreak location. According to the Red Cross and all medical studies, donating blood when you have HSV is perfectly safe. They ask that you avoid doing so when having your initial outbreak or even subsequent recurrent outbreaks.

3. I can no longer work around or hang around kids: FALSE! The guilt and depression associated with the virus tends to cause some sufferers to withdraw from the world. They feel that they are the most disgusting person around and go through great lengths to avoid interacting with people, especially children. Once again – stop beating yourself up! The chances of casually transmitting the virus to children are very slim. Did you know that an estimated 75% of the U.S. population has some form of HSV – for the large majority it is type 1, oral herpes. Don’t allow your diagnosis to cause you to stop living your best life possible. Now the virus is passed from skin to skin contact, so common sense hygiene practices are in order when dealing with the public. Keep your hands clean, avoid touching any sores during outbreaks, and keep your hands away from your mouth and eyes.

4. My sex life is over: Herpes will undoubtedly change your sex life, but it is far from over. You will definitely need to be careful, more responsible – and less spontaneous…but you can have a full happy sex life. You aren’t limited to the type of sex you have either, you are just limited in the ability to be “carefree”. This can be a good thing though – so don’t fret.

5. No one will want a serious relationship with me: FALSE! I won’t try to paint a rosy picture of easy dating and acceptance by everyone you come across. Relationships aren’t easy to begin with, and that is even more true when you have an incurable disease of any sort.There are some people who will reject you without even giving you the benefit of the doubt. Others may give you a chance, only to later decide that they don’t want to take that risk. You may also decide that you rather only date other people with herpes, if that is the case – there are thousands and thousands of people waiting to meet you. There a several great online dating sites for people with the herpes virus – including PositiveSingles.com and MPWH.net

To meet other singles with oral and genital herpes – register today at PositiveSingles.com – you’ll be happy that you did!

Stuck in a Dead End Relationship Because of Herpes?

There is nothing more frustrating than feeling stuck in a dead end relationship. Perhaps you’re in it for the kids, or maybe you’re sticking around because you have grown comfortable with your partner.Those are the typical reasons for most people, but you – well, you aren’t “most people”. Your situation is entirely different. You are stuck in your dead in relationship because you and your partner both have herpes.

You may have given it to them, or they may have given it to you – how you contracted it is really besides the point, you want out of the relationship but are deathly afraid of what the single life will have in store for you. Having herpes is difficult enough, but having herpes and being in a relationship made you feel safe – now having the virus and the thought of being single is depressing.

First know that you are not alone. You’ve likely heard all of the statistics regarding the number of people with either HSV-1 or HSV-2, and you’ve likely heard the spiel about how it isn’t “that serious” – but to you it is, and exposing yourself to a mean unforgiving public isn’t a task you’re up for at the moment.

Here are a few things for you to think about:

1. Never bargain away your happiness: Your ultimate happiness is not a bargaining chip to be traded away for something less valuable. Remember the saying – “when you settle for less, you usually get less than you settled for”. Or as one r&b songstress sung ” the things that we accept, will be the things that we regret”. Make no mistake about it, if you stay in your current relationship simply because you are afraid to venture outside of your comfort zone, you are making a grave mistake. Your feelings will soon turn to bitterness, resentment and hatred. Who wants to be in a relationship that’s full of those types of negative and life sucking emotions?

2. Herpes does not define you: At the risk of sounding like a broken record, allow us to remind you one more time that you are NOT alone. There are millions of people with oral and genital herpes, and hundreds of thousands of single people – looking for love and happiness just like you are. If you are full of guilt and shame, you will attract people who feed on and exploit that. If you walk in acceptance, happiness and comfort- people will reciprocate that as well.

3. You have options: Despite what others have said, regardless of how herpes always seems to be the butt of the joke (no pun intended) – you do have options. There are thousands of couples where one person in the relationship has herpes, and the other does not. Not only that – but there are online dating sites dedicated to helping people with HSV find successful relationships.

Staying in a relationship at the risk of compromising your happiness and complete fulfilment is never a good idea. Don’t be afraid to step out on your own and explore your options. Positive Singles, the #1 herpes dating site – is a really great place to start!

What Can We Learn from Celebrities with Herpes?

What do Michael Vick, Robin Williams and Liza Minnelli all have in common? Well, besides being popular celebrities – they also have all been the center of lawsuits for allegedly infecting sexual partners, or in the case of Liza Minnelli – failing to disclose her status, with herpes.

Michael Vick is likely the most popular of the three. In the early 2000’s he was sued by an unnamed young lady for failing to disclose his genital herpes diagnosis and ultimately transmitting the virus to her. According to the reports, Vick was fully aware of his status and even used the moniker “Ron Mexico” as his alias when he received his testing for the disease.

Liza Minnelli’s ex-husband, David Gest used the fact that she had not told him of her HSV-2 status until after they were married as a way to have their prenuptial agreement dismissed. And in 1986, Robin Williams was sued for over six million dollars by an ex-girlfriend who claimed that he infected her with herpes.

Not all celebrities take this route with their status, in fact Ann Heche has been pretty forthcoming about the fact that she has genital herpes – in her 2001 autobiography, she revealed that she has had it since her childhood when she contracted it from her father who molested her. Billy Idol has also candidly admitted to having it as well.

The list of rumored celebs with it is even longer, ranging from Derek Jeter, Brad Pitt and Bill Clinton to Jessica Alba, Janet Jackson, Brittany spears and Paris Hilton.

At the end of the day, sexual health and medical history is an extremely private and sensitive matter that should never be broadcast to the world – and only shared with those you trust and intend to have an intimate relationship with. To an extent, celebrities have forfeited a certain amount of that privacy in exchange for wealth and power. But the question still remains – what can we learn from celebrities with herpes?

1. Importance of disclosure: The stigma of oral and genital herpes carries much shame and guilt. Most people would sooner cut off the tips of a finger than tell the entire world that they have the disease. However when you are worth hundreds of millions, embarrassment, shame and guilt can be put on the back-burner in hopes of a six or seven figure out of court settlement. Although Michael Vick did eventually settle out of court, his dirty little secret was now out of the bag – and it obviously hasn’t had a negative impact on his ability to have relationships. Now the chances of you being sued by someone for giving them herpes may be a lot slimmer, but don’t take that for granted. Knowingly putting someone else at risk is extremely irresponsible and can lead to a lot of hurt and pain. So while you may not face a court case, your status may be publicized and your reputation damaged. Exposing yourself may be an incredibly scary thing to do, but taking away someone else’s options is even scarier. You were once in their shoes – so remember that.

2. Herpes doesn’t define you: Is Brad Pitt any less hot because he’s rumored to have herpes? Is Billy Idol any less talented because he has admitted to it? Is Robin Williams less funny? Or Michael Vick less talented? The fact that you have herpes (in any form) doesn’t define you, nor does it make you any less great, fabulous, beautiful, smart, or attractive. People will treat you in the same way you treat yourself. If you are full of guilt and shame, you will invite people into your life who will exploit that and use you. If you come to terms with your disease, accept that this is something you have to deal with, and seek to educate others – then you will attract people who are comfortable, accepting and supportive.

Now certainly some of these things are easier said than done, but that does not negate your personal responsibility in this matter. Treat others with the same respect and consideration that you would want to be treated with.

If you are still uncomfortable with the idea of outing yourself – try registering at some of the more popular herpes dating sites, including Positive Singles.

How to Make Dating with Herpes Less Stressful

Dating with herpes can be very stressful, and as you know – stress is the last thing you need because it can cause those outbreaks! Because of this, many single people with herpes have purposely reduced themselves to a life of celibacy and shy away from new relationships. Just because you’re infected with oral or genital herpes, that does not mean that you need to lead the life of a hermit crab!

An estimated fifty million adults in America are infected by the herpes simplex virus and the wide majority of them do not know. This blissful ignorance is the reason why herpes is the fastest growing sexually transmitted diseases amongst young adults. Now chances are those stats don’t make you feel any better about your situation, but it is important to realize that you are not alone. Although you should not feel limited to dating strictly within the herpes community, doing so is a great way to help eliminate some of the stresses you may feel when you think about dating people who do not have herpes.

Thanks to the resourcefulness that the internet provides, there are online dating and personal sites for just about everyone under the sun.

Be you white, black, tall, short, Jewish or Christian, there’s a dating website that caters to you. This same thing goes for people infected with oral and genital herpes! Yup, there are dozens of herpes dating websites.
PositiveSingles, MPwH and STDDate are amongst the most popular. They provide a safe place for people with the  herpes virus to come together and interact without fear of judgment or ridicule. No matter what you decide to do, just don’t take yourself out of the dating game. Don’t allow the disease to take away your opportunity for love.

Should You Tell Your Date that You Have Herpes?

So you’ve been single with herpes for a little while, none of your friends are aware of the fact that you have herpes – but insist that it’s time for you to get out and start dating again. Being the caring friends that they are, they set you up on a blind date. Now in your mind, this is the worst thing that could possibly happen – however you decide to go on this date anyway as to not embarrass your friends. The date seems to be progressing well, but now you are faced with one question – should you tell your date that you have herpes?

First, let’s get a few herpes facts out of the way:

1. Herpes is spread through skin to skin contact, this includes kissing as well. If you have herpes of the mouth, you can spread it by kissing.
2. Herpes can be spread even when you show no outward signs of an outbreak.
3. Herpes of the mouth can be transmitted to the genitals during oral sex.

Now that you have been reminded of how herpes is spread, let’s answer the question of how and if you should tell your date. Although the herpes virus poses no threat to life, the disease is still very much misunderstood and demonized. Herpes is often the butt of the joke amongst the younger generations and this can make disclosing your status very uncomfortable. Unless and until you are very comfortable with the fact that you have herpes, it is not necessary to out yourself on the first date.

Before you consider telling a potential new partner about your herpes status there are a few things that you may want to think about:

1. Trust: Can you trust this person? No matter how comfortable you are with your herpes situation, not everyone needs to know that you are infected with the virus. If you tell this person, can you trust that they will keep it in confidence and not try to humiliate you amongst mutual friends or strangers?

2. Is there a future: Even though it’s just a first date, you have to ask yourself if you really see any future dates with this person. If you’re pretty certain that there won’t be any more dates, then save yourself the trouble. However if you believe there will be multiple dates afterward know that you will eventually need to tell your new friend about your oral or genital herpes.

Not every date leads to a relationship or intimacy, so you should not feel compelled to talk about herpes until you have really confirmed whether or not there is any long term potential. If the idea of dating outside of the herpes community scares you – there are dozens of online herpes dating sites available.

PositiveSingles.com – the best, most trusted and largest anonymous STD dating site!

Find Passion and New Love with Online Herpes Dating Sites

Best Herpes Dating Sites Online

Being single with herpes is undoubtedly an extremely difficult thing to deal with. You have to deal with questions on whether you can trust a new partner with your secret, you worry that they may tell everyone you know about your condition – or worst yet – reject you in a horribly humiliating way. Although it is estimated that nearly one in five adults have either herpes simplex type 1 or herpes simplex type 2, an estimated eighty percent of those people are unaware of their status. This can make dating with herpes very challenging, this is even doubly so with genital herpes as most people see herpes type 2 as the “nasty” herpes.

No matter what your age or how long you have had the herpes virus, it is important that you know that you are not alone. The advent of the internet has brought together those with herpes from all over the world. Not only is love with herpes right at the tip of your fingers, but the web has also spurred the creation of many herpes and HSV support groups. You know longer have to suffer in silence nor do you have to fear being alone for the rest of your life.

There are dozens of sexually transmitted disease dating sites, these include sites created specifically for those with herpes, HSV as well HIV/AIDS. Let’s discuss some of the most popular herpes dating sites.

Positive Singles: PositiveSingles is the largest STD dating site on the web with an estimated one hundred thousand members. The are really a full feature online dating site just as you would expect for non-std sites. PositiveSingles is not limited to just people with herpes though, there membership also allows for people with HSV, hepatitis type B&C and HIV/AIDS. Although herpes is an incurable disease it is not a potentially fatal disease like HIV/AIDS. Privacy is a huge concern when it comes to somethiing as sensitive as health conditions, PositiveSingles does allow you the ability to control who can and can not see your profile.

Meet People With Herpes: Meet People With Herpes, or more commonly known as MPWH is the largest dating site dedicated specifically to those with herpes/HPV. MPwH has a community atmosphere complete with forums, chat rooms, and a regularly updated bulletin. The user interface isn’t as pretty as PositiveSingles but the membership is reportedly very active.

There are millions of people with herpes who are still living their lives, having successful relationships, getting married and having children. Your herpes diagnosis does not signal the end of your dating life.

PositiveSingles.com – the best, most trusted and largest anonymous STD dating site!