Dating With Herpes – How to Overcome Rejection

The likelihood of rejection is very much real when you have genital herpes and are interested in dating someone that does not have herpes. The social taboos associated with the virus are too many to count. Herpes is demonized and the large majority of the population, even those with the virus – are mostly misinformed about what it is and how it is contracted.

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Coping With Herpes Diagnosis Depression, Dating, Relationships & Myths Dispelled

A herpes diagnosis can send even the most well balanced individual into an emotional tailspin of depression. It is an incurable disease and although it isn’t deadly, and considered a mere annoyance to the medical community – carries a taboo throughout all of society. Chances are you feel incredibly lonely, isolated, dirty – and angry. If you are single, you’re also concerned about your chances of having a healthy and fulfilling love life as well. Depression is a very natural reaction to have when you suffer from the herpes virus – but now is the time to educate yourself and learn what it is that you can do to overcome these feelings and live a normal life.

Top Herpes Myths Dispelled:

1. I can’t have children: This is absolutely 100% FALSE. The herpes simplex virus will not prevent you from having children, nor can you pass on the disease to your children in utero or during the conception process. HSV type 1 (oral) and type 2 (genital) are contracted via skin to skin contact. This is why many in the medical community consider the virus to be more of a dermatological disease, even though it is often passed through sexual contact. You will contract herpes through seminal fluid, vaginal fluid or blood. If you are a man, you can still reproduce – and if you are a woman, you can still conceive. It is important that your doctor knows your status ahead of time because most often, a woman with genital herpes will be given a Cesarean section (c-section) instead of having a vaginal birth to reduce the chances of the child coming into contact with the virus in the vaginal canal.

2. I can’t donate blood: FALSE! The inability to donate blood is another common misconception associated with the herpes virus. Let me state once again – the herpes simplex virus is not a blood-based virus. When you contract herpes, oral or genital, it “lives” within the nervous system of the body. If you have oral – it generally rests in the base of the neck, when you have genital – it rests in the base of your spine. When dormant, it just kind of lays there – harmless, but when active – it travels via the nervous system to it’s outbreak location. According to the Red Cross and all medical studies, donating blood when you have HSV is perfectly safe. They ask that you avoid doing so when having your initial outbreak or even subsequent recurrent outbreaks.

3. I can no longer work around or hang around kids: FALSE! The guilt and depression associated with the virus tends to cause some sufferers to withdraw from the world. They feel that they are the most disgusting person around and go through great lengths to avoid interacting with people, especially children. Once again – stop beating yourself up! The chances of casually transmitting the virus to children are very slim. Did you know that an estimated 75% of the U.S. population has some form of HSV – for the large majority it is type 1, oral herpes. Don’t allow your diagnosis to cause you to stop living your best life possible. Now the virus is passed from skin to skin contact, so common sense hygiene practices are in order when dealing with the public. Keep your hands clean, avoid touching any sores during outbreaks, and keep your hands away from your mouth and eyes.

4. My sex life is over: Herpes will undoubtedly change your sex life, but it is far from over. You will definitely need to be careful, more responsible – and less spontaneous…but you can have a full happy sex life. You aren’t limited to the type of sex you have either, you are just limited in the ability to be “carefree”. This can be a good thing though – so don’t fret.

5. No one will want a serious relationship with me: FALSE! I won’t try to paint a rosy picture of easy dating and acceptance by everyone you come across. Relationships aren’t easy to begin with, and that is even more true when you have an incurable disease of any sort.There are some people who will reject you without even giving you the benefit of the doubt. Others may give you a chance, only to later decide that they don’t want to take that risk. You may also decide that you rather only date other people with herpes, if that is the case – there are thousands and thousands of people waiting to meet you. There a several great online dating sites for people with the herpes virus – including PositiveSingles.com and MPWH.net

To meet other singles with oral and genital herpes – register today at PositiveSingles.com – you’ll be happy that you did!

Stuck in a Dead End Relationship Because of Herpes?

There is nothing more frustrating than feeling stuck in a dead end relationship. Perhaps you’re in it for the kids, or maybe you’re sticking around because you have grown comfortable with your partner.Those are the typical reasons for most people, but you – well, you aren’t “most people”. Your situation is entirely different. You are stuck in your dead in relationship because you and your partner both have herpes.

You may have given it to them, or they may have given it to you – how you contracted it is really besides the point, you want out of the relationship but are deathly afraid of what the single life will have in store for you. Having herpes is difficult enough, but having herpes and being in a relationship made you feel safe – now having the virus and the thought of being single is depressing.

First know that you are not alone. You’ve likely heard all of the statistics regarding the number of people with either HSV-1 or HSV-2, and you’ve likely heard the spiel about how it isn’t “that serious” – but to you it is, and exposing yourself to a mean unforgiving public isn’t a task you’re up for at the moment.

Here are a few things for you to think about:

1. Never bargain away your happiness: Your ultimate happiness is not a bargaining chip to be traded away for something less valuable. Remember the saying – “when you settle for less, you usually get less than you settled for”. Or as one r&b songstress sung ” the things that we accept, will be the things that we regret”. Make no mistake about it, if you stay in your current relationship simply because you are afraid to venture outside of your comfort zone, you are making a grave mistake. Your feelings will soon turn to bitterness, resentment and hatred. Who wants to be in a relationship that’s full of those types of negative and life sucking emotions?

2. Herpes does not define you: At the risk of sounding like a broken record, allow us to remind you one more time that you are NOT alone. There are millions of people with oral and genital herpes, and hundreds of thousands of single people – looking for love and happiness just like you are. If you are full of guilt and shame, you will attract people who feed on and exploit that. If you walk in acceptance, happiness and comfort- people will reciprocate that as well.

3. You have options: Despite what others have said, regardless of how herpes always seems to be the butt of the joke (no pun intended) – you do have options. There are thousands of couples where one person in the relationship has herpes, and the other does not. Not only that – but there are online dating sites dedicated to helping people with HSV find successful relationships.

Staying in a relationship at the risk of compromising your happiness and complete fulfilment is never a good idea. Don’t be afraid to step out on your own and explore your options. Positive Singles, the #1 herpes dating site – is a really great place to start!

Dating With Herpes: Do I need to take Suppressive Therapy?

When you come to terms with your herpes diagnosis, you’ll really need to make a decision about what treatment options you will utilize. If you are single, and intend to date people without herpes – this is doubly important.

As you know, there is no cure to the herpes simplex virus. Although the virus is not deadly or particularly dangerous – it is still incurable. Disclosing your status to any potential sexual partner is a must. There are many within the herpes community who do not feel comfortable dating outside of the “group” – however when dating people who do not have herpes, there are a few things that you can and should do to protect them.

1. Be honest about your outbreaks: Nothing ruins spontaneity like an annoying herpes outbreak! You should consider yourself highly contagious when you are experiencing an outbreak, so it is best to refrain from intercourse during these times.

2. Pay attention to your prodrome symptoms: Part of being honest about your outbreaks involves you knowing when they actually occur. Due to the fact that they aren’t always visible or noticeable – keep track of the symptoms you have immediately before an active outbreak. In other words, are your glands and lymph nodes tender? Do you have any body aches? Abnormal itching? A tingling sensation near your outbreak sites? Knowing your symptoms will give you a better idea of when you may be shedding.

3. Eat healthy: Many people with herpes report increase in outbreaks when they eat certain foods. It is widely known that things like peanuts, caffeine, and even wine can cause the dormant virus to make it’s way to the surface. If certain foods are your triggers, try to avoid them or find alternatives.

4. Take a form of suppressive therapy: We’re sure you’ve seen the cheesy Valtrex commercials – where one person in the couple has herpes, and the other person has not – and it’s been that way for years! As cheesy as they may be, there is an element in truth behind the commercial and the product itself. Studies show that when taken regularly, Valtrex drastically reduces the chances of passing the virus on to your partner. If you are dating outside of the herpes community, you should make it a point to take your meds on a daily basis as prescribed.

5. Always use protection: It is important to note that the herpes simplex virus can be passed on even when you use condoms. Since the primary form of transmission is through skin to skin contact, if you have surface level shedding in a place not covered by a condom – you are still contagious. It is also important to remind you that both genital and oral herpes can be transmitted during oral sex. With those things said, using condoms is still a “must”. Condoms combined with suppressive therapy reduce the transmission rate to less than 2-3%

Now these five tips are just a few of the ways to make dating those without herpes less stressful, the other alternative is to explore your dating options amongst the herpes community. Although the disease is still taboo and demonized, there is a rather large online dating community out there just waiting to meet you! Positive Singles is one of the premiere herpes dating sites.

Cheating Ex Gave Me Herpes! How Long Could It Lay Dormant?

One of the first questions that comes to mind when you first learn that you have a sexually transmitted disease is usually “How did this happen?” Now the herpes simplex virus is a particularly strange disease because it can lay dormant for years at a time.

When a couple are in a relationship and either one or both learn that they have genital herpes – there is usually a lot of finger pointing, blaming, and accusations of cheating. Now unless you absolutely know that your ex was unfaithful and contracted herpes in the process – there is unfortunately know way of being one hundred percent certain as to who you may have got it from. Short of a confession that is.

Here are a few things to keep in mind about genital herpes:

1. Contrary to popular opinion, the herpes virus does not always take the form of huge nasty open sores oozing with puss and blood. In fact, most with the virus state that their repeat occurrences can often go unnoticed, and if they didn’t already know what it was – they wouldn’t have guessed it to be herpes simplex.

2. Herpes is contracted through skin to skin contact. What this means is that, unlike most other sexually transmitted diseases – you can actually get it even when using condoms perfectly every single time without fail.

3. Herpes can in deed lay dormant for many years. We should preface that by saying this – by and large, the initial herpes outbreak is the absolute worst. It can show up anywhere, it is painful and usually lasts for two to three weeks. Most people know, without a doubt – that something is wrong. Now here’s the tricky part, that “something” could be anything. If a person doesn’t suspect that they have a sexually transmitted disease – they could easily mistake their initial outbreak for a rash, allergic reaction, or even sunburn if they’ve recently had that area exposed!

Now with those three things in mind, the truth is this – it could be possible that your ex didn’t know that hey or she had herpes. On the contrary, it could also be possible that it was you who gave it to them!

Trying to figure out who gave you herpes is mostly a waste of your time and energy, not only that – but it leads to a lot of unnecessary stress that will surely lead to more uncomfortable outbreaks!

After you’ve processed your diagnosis, and decide that you’re ready to re-enter the dating scene, know that there are a ton of people out there in the same boat as you! Positive Singles is one of the top dating sites for people with genital and oral herpes.

My Ex Didn’t Tell About Their Herpes! How Can I Date Again?

One of the most devastating things that can occur in a dating relationship – is finding out that your new boyfriend or girlfriend has given you a sexually transmitted disease. Perhaps you thought that you did everything “right”. You waited until you were in a monogamous relationship, you may have even gone to your doctor and had an HIV/AIDS test to make sure that you were both in top sexual health.

So imagine your surprise when you wake up one morning with to urinate and only to experience an intense burning sensation. It’s a pain like no other pain you’ve ever had – you examine your genitals and notice several open sores. A sexually transmitted disease is the last thing on your mind; perhaps you are having an allergic reaction to a lubricant? Maybe it’s the new laundry soap you’re trying out? Either way – you decide to visit your doctor just to be certain. Within a few days you receive the most startling and shocking news – what you thought was a simple allergic reaction is in fact, genital herpes.

Of course, you immediately confront your significant other who admits that while they knew they carried the herpes virus, they thought it was no “big deal”. Heartbroken, and suffering from a life long incurable disease – you end the relationship. Of all the things going through your mind at that very moment, the future of your dating and love life are likely at the top of your list. How can I ever date again? Who will want me like this? Those are just a few of the questions you’re asking yourself.

Unlike most other STD’s – herpes, be it genital or oral – can be passed on even when you use protection one hundred percent of the time. The herpes simplex virus when dormant, is found in the nervous system – either at the base of the spine, for genital herpes – or in the neck area – which causes oral herpes. When activated, the virus travels through the nervous system and surfaces at the skin level. Oral herpes can show anywhere on the face and genital herpes can manifest anywhere below the waist. It is passed along via skin to skin contact. Though sometimes considered a sexually transmitted disease, many in the medical community view it as a dermatological occurrence. This is the reason why the virus is so widespread, and why condoms don’t protect you.

How you proceed with your dating and love life will largely be up to your comfort level with your condition. Disclosing yourself as a carrier of the herpes virus may be something that you aren’t willing to at any point. An estimated 80% of the adult population in the US has been exposed to or are carriers of herpes type 1, with nearly 35% being carriers of type 2, despite these numbers – herpes is still pretty taboo. While there are some with herpes who have no problems exposing themselves to the general population, there are just as many – if not more – who prefer not to.

You don’t want herpes – no one does, but it is important for you to know that you are not alone. The Internet has been a life saver for many sufferers of the virus. You’re dating options are as close as the tips of your fingers with the numerous herpes dating websites available.

Positive Singles is one of the best dating sites for those with herpes – we recommend them above all others!

For your FREE E-Book on the Truth About Herpes Cures, simply send a blank email to : report@yougotherpes.com

How to Make Dating with Herpes Less Stressful

Dating with herpes can be very stressful, and as you know – stress is the last thing you need because it can cause those outbreaks! Because of this, many single people with herpes have purposely reduced themselves to a life of celibacy and shy away from new relationships. Just because you’re infected with oral or genital herpes, that does not mean that you need to lead the life of a hermit crab!

An estimated fifty million adults in America are infected by the herpes simplex virus and the wide majority of them do not know. This blissful ignorance is the reason why herpes is the fastest growing sexually transmitted diseases amongst young adults. Now chances are those stats don’t make you feel any better about your situation, but it is important to realize that you are not alone. Although you should not feel limited to dating strictly within the herpes community, doing so is a great way to help eliminate some of the stresses you may feel when you think about dating people who do not have herpes.

Thanks to the resourcefulness that the internet provides, there are online dating and personal sites for just about everyone under the sun.

Be you white, black, tall, short, Jewish or Christian, there’s a dating website that caters to you. This same thing goes for people infected with oral and genital herpes! Yup, there are dozens of herpes dating websites.
PositiveSingles, MPwH and STDDate are amongst the most popular. They provide a safe place for people with the  herpes virus to come together and interact without fear of judgment or ridicule. No matter what you decide to do, just don’t take yourself out of the dating game. Don’t allow the disease to take away your opportunity for love.

Should You Tell Your Date that You Have Herpes?

So you’ve been single with herpes for a little while, none of your friends are aware of the fact that you have herpes – but insist that it’s time for you to get out and start dating again. Being the caring friends that they are, they set you up on a blind date. Now in your mind, this is the worst thing that could possibly happen – however you decide to go on this date anyway as to not embarrass your friends. The date seems to be progressing well, but now you are faced with one question – should you tell your date that you have herpes?

First, let’s get a few herpes facts out of the way:

1. Herpes is spread through skin to skin contact, this includes kissing as well. If you have herpes of the mouth, you can spread it by kissing.
2. Herpes can be spread even when you show no outward signs of an outbreak.
3. Herpes of the mouth can be transmitted to the genitals during oral sex.

Now that you have been reminded of how herpes is spread, let’s answer the question of how and if you should tell your date. Although the herpes virus poses no threat to life, the disease is still very much misunderstood and demonized. Herpes is often the butt of the joke amongst the younger generations and this can make disclosing your status very uncomfortable. Unless and until you are very comfortable with the fact that you have herpes, it is not necessary to out yourself on the first date.

Before you consider telling a potential new partner about your herpes status there are a few things that you may want to think about:

1. Trust: Can you trust this person? No matter how comfortable you are with your herpes situation, not everyone needs to know that you are infected with the virus. If you tell this person, can you trust that they will keep it in confidence and not try to humiliate you amongst mutual friends or strangers?

2. Is there a future: Even though it’s just a first date, you have to ask yourself if you really see any future dates with this person. If you’re pretty certain that there won’t be any more dates, then save yourself the trouble. However if you believe there will be multiple dates afterward know that you will eventually need to tell your new friend about your oral or genital herpes.

Not every date leads to a relationship or intimacy, so you should not feel compelled to talk about herpes until you have really confirmed whether or not there is any long term potential. If the idea of dating outside of the herpes community scares you – there are dozens of online herpes dating sites available.

PositiveSingles.com – the best, most trusted and largest anonymous STD dating site!

Can You Get Herpes if You Wear a Condom and the Person Had No Outbreak?

Can you get herpes if you wear a condom and the person had no outbreak?

If you are sexually intimate with a person who has herpes simplex II, or genital herpes there are a few things that you should know about herpes transmission.

The herpes simplex viruses are transmitted through skin to skin contact. It is not a blood borne virus, it lays dormant in the nervous system, and when it is triggered it rises to the surface. This is known as a herpes outbreak. Genital herpes outbreaks can look like anything from puss filled sores, to small open wounds. They can occur inside the vagina, on the scrotum, pelvis, the inner thigh, buttocks or lower back. Herpes sores can be big enough to see visibly, but they can also be be small as a pin point and barely noticeable to the human eye.

Now that you understand what a genital herpes outbreak is and the ways it can appear – you should realize that the answer to your question is simply yes – you can still get herpes even if you wear a condom and the person has no visible signs of an outbreak.

If you are in a relationship with a person who has genital herpes and are considering being sexually intimate with them, it is important for you to have a honest discussion about what types of medications they take. While condoms can reduce your risk, it is not a fool proof method of prevention. In order to protect yourself, your partner should commit
to taking daily suppressive therapy like Valtrex. Studies have shown that using condoms combined with daily suppressive therapy will reduce your risk to under two to five percent.

How easy is it to get genital herpes?

Whether you have herpes yourself, know someone who does, or are interested in dating someone with the virus – you will be full of questions and concerns. This is totally normal, due to the way that the herpes simplex virus has been demonized, it is often difficult to find unbiased answers to those questions. Although herpes can be considered a sexually transmitted disease, it is often seen as a dermatological condition that sometimes occurs on the genitals. I don’t say that to make light of the seriousness of the issue, but just to show that it isn’t a killer disease.

Here is one of the most common questions when it comes to dating someone who has herpes, when you do not.

Question: I just started dating this new guy and he has herpes. I really want to to continue seeing him but I’m concerned about contracting genital herpes. How easy is it to get herpes?

Answer: Your concern is a very valid one, especially since you do not have the herpes simplex virus. Oral and genital herpes is transmitted through skin to skin contact. It can be transmitted even when there aren’t visible indications (outbreaks) of the virus being present. What this means is that herpes can be passed from one person to the next during a phase caused viral shedding. Believe it or not, genital herpes can also be transmitted even when a couple uses condoms as protection. Your partner can drastically reduce the chances of you getting herpes by taking daily suppressive treatments like Valtrex. This, combined with the use of condoms should protect you, statitiscs state that the combination of suppressive therapy and condoms reduce the cross-infection rate by 98%

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